“Why” is a lousy question, do I dare ask a better one?
Yes, fellow readers and writers, “Why” is a terrible question. (Unless of course you are asking about gravity) It leaves us stuck in the quicksand of our thoughts, and never gets down to the heart of what we truly want to know.
Why does my heart hurt?.... Why are people cruel?…..Why do I lose my creative oomph?……..Why do I have to work?…..Why pay taxes?
There are lots of ways we can move thru the muck of the mind, if only we begin with curiosity. If we had been taught to ask better questions, would we be less frustrated? I would like to imagine it would help. It’s never too late to begin.
Let’s play a game: can you replace the question with a better one? Better in this case means the question would move you in the direction of an actual answer, instead of keeping you sitting in the muck. I’ll go first. And I would love to hear your thought as well. What are your “why” questions? And what might you replace them with?
Why does my heart hurt? … could become… could I make my heart hurt less? What could I do? Would doing an activity clear my confused mind? Am I imaging something unkind is happening? Am I wishing for something I don’t think I can have?
Why are people cruel?…. Could become.. what part of me prevents me from behaving as cruel people do? Is there something those people gain from the way they act? I wonder what was done to them that taught them to lash out like that, and can I forgive it?
Why do I lose my creative oomph?… could become.. what might steer me back on track? Is there something I could read to reignite my brain? Who could I imagine speaking to while I am writing that would help this become more interesting? Do I need a nap?
Why do I have to work?….could become..Am I willing to depend on others all my life for food and housing? Is there a different job that I would enjoy more? Is there a boring job that I might be paid for while I am enjoying my writing on the side? What is it I most enjoy doing? And could I find a way to be paid for that ? Could I lessen my overhead so I have more flexibility?
Why must I pay taxes? Am I willing to face the consequences of not paying them? Is there a place I could live where I am not required to pay taxes?
There are SO many questions that evoke more inspiring answers. Are you bored of being stuck in the dullness of “Why” ?
Such a simple yet powerful shift you share, Teyani! Our thoughts can be so helpful yet can also cause so much suffering. Reframing the questions we ask ourselves is a wonderful tool to shift perspective. A deep bow and a lotus for you 🙏🪷
Excellent point, Teyani!
I asked a friend why he did something and got a strong defensive response.
Never occurred to me that a why question 🙋🏻♀️ could be perceived as accusatory.
The person I asked responded with a b c d go fish.
Meaning there was no clear answer.
Perhaps 🤔 I could better ask: That’s interesting, I'm curious about your perspective on this topic. Could you help me understand some of your reasoning?
Do we really know why we pick x instead of y?
Some believe our choice is made by our body 3 seconds before we are conscious of that choice.
What do you all believe???