Talk with me - “The Way we do Anything…”

# 1

I’m beginning a new section in my stack, and I’m looking forward to interacting with you within this space.

I’ve been blessed to have spoken with thousands of people throughout the years while working as a psychotherapist. I’m mostly retired now, and I miss the philosophical aspect of sharing thoughts.

I do not stake any claim in being a philosophical “great”. Instead, I come from a place of humility, and would like to share insights brought to me over the past 71 years.

So please, Talk with Me.

Thought for the day:

“The way you do anything is the way you do everything”. This quote has been attributed to so many people from John Wick to Martha Beck to a random elder in a Midwest First Nation. Whomever it was, I thank you.

I’ve noticed this philosophy applies to most every single situation of knowing what people are truly like at their core. It relates to the thought of ‘who are you when no one is looking.’

As I’ve worked with people, I’ve applied this insight to those trying to figure out if a new person in their life is worth dating, what a company will be like to work for, what type of friend a person will be, and how people parent (to mention just a few ways to use this philosophy.)

Let’s take the dating example, since it’s very clear: when attempting to figure out if a new person is who they say they are observe:

• How they treat wait staff at a restaurant

• What’s the interior condition of their car, apartment, purse etc.

• Who are their friends, and how do their friends treat each other

• How do they speak about other people, are they disparaging? kind? judgmental? accepting?

Expanding out a few of these observations will give us lots of information:

• If this new person in your life is insulting, harsh, rude, cruel about someone in their past, they will certainly speak this way about you. Check to see if they have insights about themselves instead, which offers wisdom learned.

• If a person is abrupt to wait staff in a restaurant, they consider that person beneath them, and subservient. They will treat you this way also given the right circumstances. It means that they are arrogant and imagine themselves better than others.

• If a person’s car is a disaster zone, full of trash, half eaten sandwiches, yesterday’s parking ticket, filthy windows etc. you can know without a doubt that all of their life is this messy and uncared for. Even if they have temporarily cleaned up one aspect of their world, it’s guaranteed to return to chaos.

• Last, but not least, a person’s friends tell us so much about them. Are these people sarcastic or honest ? Ethical? Supportive of each other? We all surround ourselves in our personal life with people who are like us. Pay attention.

Let’s talk.