Great reminders, Tey, of the standard I use for memoir: the stories we tell must serve others more than ourselves. It's not a popular view in our age of tell-all books.
Thanks Josh! I am weary of the sensationalist and the venting styles of writing. They belong to the gossip rags, right? I’ve been counseling couples long enough to know that if a person’s reason for “telling all” is only to make themselves feel better, then it’s best to find alternative paths toward that goal.
I'm glad you're still able to continue counseling in some capacity. I'm sure you and your clients both benefit from the interactions. I think I might find comfort in knowing that on those nights when I'm not sleeping, chances are I'm not alone; you're out there in the dark also, thinking through things that were, maybe wondering about how to get through things that are yet to be - and getting some knitting done. Much of what keeps me from going back to sleep are feelings without words and music soothes my soul in those times. The short, wet days followed by long dark nights are also getting me down, as are current events. And physical pain. I guess you must have developed some mental exercises to deal with the long term 7+/10 pain. I have some recent personal experience with hip pain and I have a new appreciation for the despair that can come with chronic pain. I'm so very grateful for the relief I've been getting and my heart breaks every time I see that you have come back from a treatment that brought only temporary (if any) relief. So, when I'm watching the clock mark the wee hours, I'll think of you listening to the rain and know that I'm not alone.
I’m so sorry to hear that your hip still pains you, and I hope there are some options (?).
I have only about ten clients I still communicate with, and of those, not every week.
I’m not able to knit again yet (due to brain fog from the brain sagging due to low CSF.
No perfect mental exercises to cope with the pain, I meditate, and often listen to Sharon Salzburg’s guided meditations on pain. She has many insights.
Sometimes music helps me, but most times I need it upset because of my head and neck pain.
You are most definitely not alone sweet friend of mine. It’s been so long since I got to see you. I’m holding on to the hope that one day soon I will be able to drive again, and we can meet up 💞
I value you perspective on this so much. I’ve often felt that truth-telling only in the name of “absolving oneself from guilt” is more harmful than never sharing at all. ❤️
I completely agree Kimberly. And blunt as I can be (tho gently) I have asked clients this directly. (Are they looking to make themselves feel better?) And I reflected to them that increasing the harm done by the original questionable act as they seek absolution is placing the weight of their old bad choice into the person they already have hurt. Never a good plan. Learning to forgive themselves is more important (in my way of considering this)
Sad because of the 7/10 pain levels and the unbidden mortality thoughts. Happy because of the past explored. When things are happy and sad at the same time, they are real and true. What is real just is, and I'm happy that you can explore yours, the past, the memories, the possibilities - even mortality - with grace. Thank you for this, my friend.
I hit the arrow button too soon. :) I think you write what a lot of us struggle with, regardless of age. That’s why I thought it was beautiful and relatable.
Thank you Mike. I love your observation… and now that you’ve shared it, it rings true for me. Perhaps that’s my niche(?) writing about everyday struggles?..
I’m so glad it felt beautiful and relatable. That’s the tone of what I was feeling
Insightful and calming, thanks for sharing, Teyani.
Good to hear it resonated. Thanks Tinashe
Great reminders, Tey, of the standard I use for memoir: the stories we tell must serve others more than ourselves. It's not a popular view in our age of tell-all books.
Thanks Josh! I am weary of the sensationalist and the venting styles of writing. They belong to the gossip rags, right? I’ve been counseling couples long enough to know that if a person’s reason for “telling all” is only to make themselves feel better, then it’s best to find alternative paths toward that goal.
Thank you for being able to put into words what we all share but don’t express.
You’re most welcome Trish. I’m glad this rang true for you.
I'm glad you're still able to continue counseling in some capacity. I'm sure you and your clients both benefit from the interactions. I think I might find comfort in knowing that on those nights when I'm not sleeping, chances are I'm not alone; you're out there in the dark also, thinking through things that were, maybe wondering about how to get through things that are yet to be - and getting some knitting done. Much of what keeps me from going back to sleep are feelings without words and music soothes my soul in those times. The short, wet days followed by long dark nights are also getting me down, as are current events. And physical pain. I guess you must have developed some mental exercises to deal with the long term 7+/10 pain. I have some recent personal experience with hip pain and I have a new appreciation for the despair that can come with chronic pain. I'm so very grateful for the relief I've been getting and my heart breaks every time I see that you have come back from a treatment that brought only temporary (if any) relief. So, when I'm watching the clock mark the wee hours, I'll think of you listening to the rain and know that I'm not alone.
I’m so sorry to hear that your hip still pains you, and I hope there are some options (?).
I have only about ten clients I still communicate with, and of those, not every week.
I’m not able to knit again yet (due to brain fog from the brain sagging due to low CSF.
No perfect mental exercises to cope with the pain, I meditate, and often listen to Sharon Salzburg’s guided meditations on pain. She has many insights.
Sometimes music helps me, but most times I need it upset because of my head and neck pain.
You are most definitely not alone sweet friend of mine. It’s been so long since I got to see you. I’m holding on to the hope that one day soon I will be able to drive again, and we can meet up 💞
“Acknowledging them was all I needed. A bit more of each fragment has now crumbled into dust”
Yes.🙏
Thank you Dee. There is something about looking those secrets directly in the eye that has them crumbling. I knew you would get exactly what I mean
I value you perspective on this so much. I’ve often felt that truth-telling only in the name of “absolving oneself from guilt” is more harmful than never sharing at all. ❤️
I completely agree Kimberly. And blunt as I can be (tho gently) I have asked clients this directly. (Are they looking to make themselves feel better?) And I reflected to them that increasing the harm done by the original questionable act as they seek absolution is placing the weight of their old bad choice into the person they already have hurt. Never a good plan. Learning to forgive themselves is more important (in my way of considering this)
I so appreciate this quiet honest reflection on your past, your mortality, and the way you hold your life in the present. Thank you. <3
Thank you Sarah. I love that you understand what I was attempting to share
Sad because of the 7/10 pain levels and the unbidden mortality thoughts. Happy because of the past explored. When things are happy and sad at the same time, they are real and true. What is real just is, and I'm happy that you can explore yours, the past, the memories, the possibilities - even mortality - with grace. Thank you for this, my friend.
Thank you my friend. I appreciate you sensing and holding the balance of things that are so true for me. Your tender holding is appreciated
This is just beautiful. Though it stirs lots of emotions, “beautiful was the one that came out after reading this.
I hit the arrow button too soon. :) I think you write what a lot of us struggle with, regardless of age. That’s why I thought it was beautiful and relatable.
Thank you Mike. I love your observation… and now that you’ve shared it, it rings true for me. Perhaps that’s my niche(?) writing about everyday struggles?..
I’m so glad it felt beautiful and relatable. That’s the tone of what I was feeling