Heart-breaking, Teyani, but also, good for you! I was a part of that collective sigh of relief. I am proud of you for standing up for yourself and following your dreams. And I'd love to hear your snort laugh!
Teyani, this is really great writing. I am coming up on my first anniversary and want to make sure I treat my wife very very well for as long as are together (hopefully forever!). Reading this helps me understand how I don't want to be with her.
Thank you Tom! This means a lot coming from you. I’m mid process in writing a book for couples called Staying Together, and so far I’ve published the Intro and two chapters here. Eventually I will publish it on Amazon and I’m excited to continue learning and growing here.
Your encouragement to publish vulnerable writing inspired me and gave me the courage to hit that publish button. Thank you So much.
You triggered a memory from my first marriage that upon reflection, was the moment I decided that it was not a forever marriage. My first husband is a Lutheran minister. One Easter (on an occasion where he was not presiding over the service) he turned to me and said, “Why can’t you just sing like everyone else?” I am an Alto. I love to sing. I’ve sung the Alto line of every hymn in the Lutheran hymnal my entire life. I cried the whole way to and from the communion rail that Easter Sunday. It was the day that I fully accepted that he just didn’t understand or celebrate ME. All was OK as long as I stayed in the little box he wanted me to stay in…and quite frankly needed me to stay in. But, I had arrived at a crossroads and it was time to make a choice. Stay within the lane he needed me to stay in or leave him to forge my own lane….singing Alto, participating in musical variety shows, pursuing my career, buying my own first home, and eventually finding new love. The choice was hard and easy….and I still sing Alto!
You shared your story, which is very mach personal. The way you shared it in public helps every member of your audience to be steadfast in pursuing their chosen route.
Feels like, for some reason in our youth, you and I have issues identifying decent guys.
Exactly one man told me my laugh was too loud, it was our first date and I never went out with him again. Laughing is fun, like good sex, I feel it’s a birthright. But it took six weeks to identify that one boyfriend was narcissistic, I kept trying to figure him out instead of protecting my mental well-being.
We deserve good men, we really do. We are uber competent and can very happily laugh and buy ourselves flowers without them.
Hmm, I married, divorced and remarried a man who sounds much like this guy. And then divorced him for good. And I'm a therapist. And musician. We have a lot in common.
Beautiful picture!
Heart-breaking, Teyani, but also, good for you! I was a part of that collective sigh of relief. I am proud of you for standing up for yourself and following your dreams. And I'd love to hear your snort laugh!
Thanks Cherie. Perhaps someday I’ll publicize my snort laugh…. Hmmmm, on second thought, no.🤭
Teyani, this is really great writing. I am coming up on my first anniversary and want to make sure I treat my wife very very well for as long as are together (hopefully forever!). Reading this helps me understand how I don't want to be with her.
Thank you Tom! This means a lot coming from you. I’m mid process in writing a book for couples called Staying Together, and so far I’ve published the Intro and two chapters here. Eventually I will publish it on Amazon and I’m excited to continue learning and growing here.
Your encouragement to publish vulnerable writing inspired me and gave me the courage to hit that publish button. Thank you So much.
You triggered a memory from my first marriage that upon reflection, was the moment I decided that it was not a forever marriage. My first husband is a Lutheran minister. One Easter (on an occasion where he was not presiding over the service) he turned to me and said, “Why can’t you just sing like everyone else?” I am an Alto. I love to sing. I’ve sung the Alto line of every hymn in the Lutheran hymnal my entire life. I cried the whole way to and from the communion rail that Easter Sunday. It was the day that I fully accepted that he just didn’t understand or celebrate ME. All was OK as long as I stayed in the little box he wanted me to stay in…and quite frankly needed me to stay in. But, I had arrived at a crossroads and it was time to make a choice. Stay within the lane he needed me to stay in or leave him to forge my own lane….singing Alto, participating in musical variety shows, pursuing my career, buying my own first home, and eventually finding new love. The choice was hard and easy….and I still sing Alto!
Diane,
You shared your story, which is very mach personal. The way you shared it in public helps every member of your audience to be steadfast in pursuing their chosen route.
Many hugs Di. This is exactly the feeling I’m talking about. I’m glad you remained true to yourself, despite the strength it took. You’re awesome.
Feels like, for some reason in our youth, you and I have issues identifying decent guys.
Exactly one man told me my laugh was too loud, it was our first date and I never went out with him again. Laughing is fun, like good sex, I feel it’s a birthright. But it took six weeks to identify that one boyfriend was narcissistic, I kept trying to figure him out instead of protecting my mental well-being.
We deserve good men, we really do. We are uber competent and can very happily laugh and buy ourselves flowers without them.
Yes! Thanks Lisa. And you are so right.
Hmm, I married, divorced and remarried a man who sounds much like this guy. And then divorced him for good. And I'm a therapist. And musician. We have a lot in common.
I think it took a lot of courage to write this.
Thank you. It’s helpful to know others are out there.
It’s lovely being seen.
May you continue being so (when & as often as you wish).
Thanks for your kind comment. I suspect many of us writers want exactly that.
Wow Teyani, the blown open truth in your writing has stirred something in me, so grateful for your courage, such a gift. X
Thank you Sarina. Your comment means a lot.